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Florida, United States

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I Need, I Need, I Need.....

Do you ever wonder why things happen at the worst possible time?

Four days before I started my new job, my youngest broke his wrist, and it couldn't be a typical run of the mill break....no....It had to warrant surgery, so I missed a day of work for that.

This week we are having testing, very important testing, and while I normally don't mind missing work (I actually relish playing hooky from time to time), I refuse to miss this soon into a job. So, here I am, sick again and having to drag my snotty, congested, eyes watering, scabbed up nose ass to work. It sucks.

But on the plus side, I witnessed a very funny thing happen.

Kids today are asses. They possess no work ethic, nor any moral values worth mentioning. (With a few exceptions to the rule...I don't want to forget my own precious angel, of course.)

One of our deans called some girl down to the office. When she walked in, she had no idea what she was there for. The dean asked the girl for her boyfriend's name, so she gave it. The dean then proceeds to call the boyfriend up. I was almost afraid to ask, but of course, I'm a nosy bitch so I wanted to know if they were caught scrumping in the potty.

Unfortunately, the girl was just spotted making out that morning and the dean wanted to chew the P.D.A loving couple a new one.

This is where it gets interesting.

Turns out the boy that the girl was making out with that morning WASN'T her boyfriend and she totally got busted. The dean was rather embarrassed and vowed that she would be more specific in the future. Instead of asking, "What's your boyfriend's name?" it would go more like this, "Whose tongue did you have in your mouth this morning?"

Serves the little hooch right...He dumped her right there in the office, too.

I'm ready for some hot weather. I need the sun. Seriously. I need the water to warm up, so that I can cool off after the U.V rays eats my skin off. I need to run around in flip flops and tank tops and cut off shorts. I need to have tan lines. I need my hair bleached out naturally so that I don't have to spend a fortune getting it artifically colored. I need to be on the water. I also need an excuse for a pedicure as my feet are beginning to scare me...even worse than normal.

And I need an excuse to wear my new red bathing suit, as I tried it on the other day and I'm totally rocking it. (Not that I'm bragging or anything....okay, so I totally am, but in my defense I've busted my ass over the last year for my body, so I've earned the right.)

I also need my hair to grow another half inch so that I can wear it in a pony tail because I had to chop all the dead crap off the last time I had my hair did, due to flat ironing the shit out of it. I recommend a blow dryer and a paddle brush if you want straight hair. The flat iron is a murderer. Seriously.

This is just a few things I need. I'm sure I could go on...and on...and on...and on...but I won't bore you with the details.

Peace out, peeps.


  1. You have returned! I am glad. I missed you.
    I think that when the sunshine comes, your hair will grow out hella quick so that will solve a whack of your problems right away.
    And if it makes you feel any better I woke up to snow this morning. Not any actual touching down, but it was snowing. Therefore it was cold.
    Finally- that little ho totally deserved what she got. What is with (most) kids these days???

  2. Sunshine! I know the feeling...this nasty weather is very depressing.
    I am totally thinking that the little tramp got what she deserved!

  3. No worries! I haven't went anywhere, I've just not spent near as much time in blogoland. Turns out, having a job that doesn't make you want to slit your wrists and jump from the nearest sky scraper makes you actually want to...gasp....work! But I'm present and accounted for, unless this kick ass weather blows my brick house in on me...then I'm pretty much f@!$ed...

  4. "Serves the little hooch right...He dumped her right there in the office, too. "

    Justice. It is served.

  5. that's hilarious about the girl!! Glad he dumped her! New follower!! Your are a fabulous writer!

  6. Thanks Namine. Keep it coming! :-)