As a mom of a young man that is almost thirteen, it is a constant battle to keep my house clean. And, seeing as I might be a bit of an O.C.D. control freak, I like to keep a very (very, very, very) clean house.
And he's a pig. Seriously.
I live with three males and I'm completely outnumbered.
My youngest son is ten and while they're completely different in every other respect, they are very similar in the fact that their aim is way off while taking a piss. Knowing my husband, it must be genetic.
We have a big house, so everyone has their own bathrooms. Sounds nice, until you set out to clean them. I enter with caution, a gallon of bleach and rubber gloves.
"Jesus!" is usually the first thing out of my mouth upon entry.
"You've got to be kidding me!" is not far behind.
By the time I finish, my lungs are burning, eyes are watering and I've typically developed even more disgust for my offspring than ever before. Yes, it may sound harsh, but disgust is really the only emotion that moves through my body as I'm scrubbing the piss off the surrounding walls and that little holding area every toilet seems to come equipped with located at the floor where it bolts in.
I have many friends that ask why I don't make them clean it up themselves. Sure, I've done this, but it is never up to my standards.
Put it like this. I once cleaned my oldest son's bathroom and a few days later, he comes out and says, "I love it when the toilet is blue, mom."
And me, puzzled, asked him how the toilet was still blue.
"I've been peeing in the shower so that it'll stay clean."
Huh?
I'm not making this shit up.
One morning, I went in to his room to wake him up for school before leaving for work and you literally could not see the floor. I do my normal routine, lose my mind a little, threaten him with loss of limb if its not clean before I get home from work and head out.
When I arrive home that afternoon, my husband has him in the truck, heading out for baseball practice. He rolls the passenger window down and shouts out at me, "Mom, I remembered to clean my room!" and as I'm about to say thank you, he finishes with this, "I just didn't do it!"
I guess he wanted a pat on the back for at least remembering what I wanted him to do.
I really, really need a maid. Problem is, she/he probably wouldn't clean it to my standards either.
I gave my Ex his very own bathroom for this very same reason. Then I never set foot in it again. Problem solved ;) It was in the basement though. Convenient that.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you do it. I would just be standing there in the hall making them do it until it was clean enough for my standards :)
ok, get a housekeeper. And even if this wasn't up to your standards it will be a HUGE help. Ours comes two times a month and it saves my sanity.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same with my kids' rooms too. When there is crap everywhere, I seriously feel something snap in my brain and I can't see straight anymore.
I need to work on that. :)
Hahahaha...I have a simple solution for all of this...pee outside...have them lift their legs up like dogs...that's how I do it, and I've only been arrested like 6 times for it!
ReplyDeleteThat's hysterical. He peed in the shower?! At least he appreciates that you clean for him?
ReplyDeleteBoys are animals. They don't change, they just make bigger messes.
You should totally get a maid. I used to be one! :D
ReplyDeleteAnd if you hire the right maids, they can clean at least kind of close to your standards. Before I was a maid, what I thought was 'clean' was actually considered disgusting to my boss. I was taught how to catch the corners, underneath things, oh man. It was gross, but now I love how it looks after I clean my bathroom!
Oh! My bathrooms are the same! It doesn't matter how often I clean, there is ALWAYS p*ss on the toilet seats and even the floor. OMG. Makes me want to kill someone.
ReplyDeletep.s. Have left something for you on my blog ;)
ReplyDelete