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Florida, United States

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Child Please

I am superficial, flighty, and an all around pain in the ass. My dad thanks my husband on a regular basis for taking me off of his hands.

You know what their problem with me is? I've finally figured it out.

I'm too smart for them. When it comes to arguing, I am the QUEEN. Even if I'm wrong, I will some how make it sound like I'm right. It's my very own super power.

So, they sit together when my dad is visiting (which he currently is), and will mumble under their breaths when I've made my point.

Sometimes, I will argue a point for so long and so vehemently, that I honestly forget what the original argument was about. But it's okay. I have generally talked/reasoned (argued/bullied, but whatever) them into submission by this point that they don't even catch the puzzled look that I know must cross my face when I try to figure out what the conversation was actually about.

Case in point:

Me: Can you believe that Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Ochocinco?

Hubby: He did not. That was just a publicity stunt a while back.

Me: Yes, he did. I saw it on Hard Knocks and thats the name he has on the back of his jersey.

Hubby: Then it must've been a practice jersey.

Me: Honey, you're such an idiot. I'll show you.

So, I then head to the computer room, look him up on Wiki, which we all know is the same as being written in stone, show hubby and prove him wrong. (I then checked the Bengal's website to see what his name was listed as on the roster and I really was right....which I knew all along, of course.)

Anyway, you'd think he would learn not to argue with me.

And to stray away from the subject (my flightiness showing through), I think my new favorite saying is "Child, please", which according to none other than the guy formerly known as Chad Johnson means "fuck you" without actually saying it.

This could come in handy, donchu think?


  1. Love me some Chad Ochocinco! I think he's awesome! Doing crazy stuff, but before he even does it telling the press things like "Oh yes, I will be heavily fined." He's the man.

    Child, please.

  2. I knew I would like this post as soon as I saw the title. You never disappoint.

  3. Who the hell is Chad Frappaccino?

    And I like "Fuck you" much better.

    But, you are always right, so "Child, please" is obviously superior.

  4. I never get tired of being right either...

  5. oh, thank goodness, a phrase i can use at school!