In honor of the fact that I'm not going to do too much more work today (anything), I thought that I would post a "t.m.i." story, as this seems to be the thing to do in some circles on Thursdays.
And as everyone else seems to be obsessed with "Aunt Flo", "Crimson Tide" and sitting on a nice "Merlot", I figured I would contribute my own full stop (period) story.
So, I was on about day five, which means I was at the very ass end and my auto drip was almost tapering off, hence, I wore a skirt.
Yes, I know....I know...I should've known better, especially as I was wearing some of my monthly undies and not any especially cute ones at that.
My only excuse for what comes next is I forgot. Like a poor Alzheimer's patient, my brain cells were not firing at full capacity and it just SLIPPED-MY-MIND.
I'm sitting on the patio with my husband. My poor, poor husband.
"Let me see."
"See what?"
"Well, you're wearing that little skirt. Let me see."
So, I showed him. I thought he was going to fall outta his chair, he jerked away so fast.
"Shit, Laurie! That's not funny!"
And I still didn't remember, so I bent over to see what the hell he was talking about and realized that I'm wearing some of my very much lived in undies.
Yes, they were stained.
Okay, so maybe I'm gross and the only girl that has a pair of stained up undies, but for you guys out there, blood REALLY doesn't come out. Unless you catch it right away and soak them. Which my husband doesn't enjoy either. And frankly, neither do I. You go to brush your teeth and see some funky panties marinating in the bathroom sink. Not cute.
Anyway, I don't wear my pretty panties while the crimson wave is riding the waves out of my uterus. And, to give myself a little credit, that morning in particular, I had gotten dressed in minimal light, as I was trying to be sensitive to the hubby that was still sleeping. So I just didn't realize that I had grabbed probably the ugliest, most stained panties in the drawer. All I knew, they had an ass attached and that was good enough for me.
So, I might've scarred him. That's been about a year ago, and he has yet to ask for a peek up my skirt since.
I don't think Sharon Stone would be proud, but that's just a wild guess.
Boys need to learn, it's normal and they can't say anything cause of the skidmarks they leave.
ReplyDelete:)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteohhhh man!
that's pretty funny... getting caught up in the moment is always lovely even when it's embarrassing :)
ReplyDeleteHaaaa! Are you trying to ruin Merlot for me??? come on, Laurie! Shit!! Hehehehe
ReplyDeleteThat's the funniest story I think I've heard all week! When I was in college, someone(stalker?jealous bitch?)broke into my house and stole all of my clothes-even the dirty ones in the hamper--nothing valuable like my computer sitting on the table. The funny thing was, I was on my period at the time and my "period" panties were in that hamper. Served the asshole(s) right!
ReplyDeleteI do have my moments.....
ReplyDeleteHAHA just about fell off my chair laughing about that one...funnily enough, when i think about me and my other half living together, i don't worry about bills and having no money, I worry about him finding my little 'accident' in the laundry basket or god forbid it happens and i forget to change a sheet, he's very squeamish about that stuff.
ReplyDeleteWell, I sure can't relate but had a great laugh at your expense! I love the honesty in all your posts.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I was cringing reading this but at the same time it's so true! Your blog is really funny. I don't know why it took me so long to find my way over here :)
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