Thursday, January 14, 2010
Ennui and The O.C.
Okay, so I'm one day away from the weekend and the anticipation is building. I'm so excited I could do the Ren and Stimpy dance.
Big plans, you ask? Why, no. Well, then what are you so excited about?
Other than a banquet that I have to attend on Saturday night (which I'm dreading, but I do get to dress up for) I plan on doing nothing but watching Season 3 of The OC allllll weekend long.
Lying around, killing brain cells by immersing myself in bad dialogue, but hot bodied men, while eating buttery popcorn in my comfy pajamas and my fluffy socks, only breaking to pee, sounds completely awesome as I sit at my desk, where I have a mountain of work and no drive to see it done. It's gonna be bliss.
Can you have a midlife crisis at twenty nine? Or is there another word for it? I feel too young to be so settled and too old to pretend I have no sense or sense of consequences. It's a really horrible feeling.
What am I working towards? A house? I have that. A husband that loves me? Check. Procreating? Twice. Both of which are more than half grown and on their way to the exciting times in their lives (and I'm not one of those freakish parents that wants to live vicariously through their offspring). So.....what now?
I'm seriously considering a change in career. Its a radical change, going into a position that pays considerably less than I'm making now, more aggravation in certain factors but A LOT more challenging and hopefully, fulfilling. If everything works out, within the next couple of months I'll be somewhat entertained at work, even if I'm the new low man (woman) on the totem pole.
I wonder if this is some kind of early midlife..... Most people my age are getting married, maybe have a toddler or two and are struggling to pay their mortgage. I've been married since I was eighteen and have two boys that are sprouting body hair.
My life is wonderful. I have awesome friends, an even better family and I'm pretty much set. But now, I wonder if I'm just supposed to coast my way through the rest of my life. What do you do when you have met what you thought were your life's goals? Do you just sit back and enjoy it? That's boring...and it gets to the point where you want to stir shit up just to see where it all falls. Not healthy, I'm thinking.
Look at me bitch because I'm not starving, I'm employed, have a wonderful husband and two healthy kids that keep me on my toes. How petty can a person get? If this ennui and tedium drags on, I'm sure we'll see me sink to a new level.